I'm writing this watching him in a deep sleep, in his typical relaxed sleeping pose of flat out on his back, arms up above his head and legs splayed - sort of like a relaxed 'star' shape, oblivious to the obstacles he has to overcome tomorrow.
Today he had a blood transfusion as his blood count was low, which isn't great heading into surgery, but he coped with it totally fine. The Drs also gave him a dose of furosemide which is a diuretic to help his kidneys flush out some of the extra fluids he's been getting by IV since his milk has been stopped.
There is some talk of us moving from 26B to the surgical ward post op, as they have a High Dependency Unit which would be better for monitoring him, as this may take him a bit to get over.
It's all a bit weird really. Today again I felt thrown (which is stupid) by a random Dr I've never seen before (I have no idea who she is/what her name was?) coming in to say he needed bloods as he was low and to sign the consent form..... oh that's right, I forgot again I have a sick boy. It's so easy to forget as he's chatting away and responding happily to everyone...but the reminder today of his fragility as after just a few days with milk/TPN adjustments and he's puffy and needing different meds and extra blood. But I also know that this is progress. This stoma he is having closed up was surgically created when he was just 12 hours old when things were so totally bleak....... it's amazing to see how far he has come and we look forward to helping him through this so he can have use of more of his bowel.
Tired, weary, peaceful, lonely (missing my family), calm, thankful of progress, grateful for skilled people that have brought Sam this far, grateful again for friends and family and hopeful....so many feelings that can change in a second but I read this this morning as I slurped my coffee in Hum, a new coffee shop by Grafton Bridge, 'For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything'. 1 John 3:20. I'm so very glad of that.