Monday, March 3, 2014

Take time to stop and smell the .........?

It is 5.15 am and I have not been able to sleep since Sam woke at 4 am to vomit.... So After 40 mins of lying wide awake with thoughts flowing through my head I thought I would get up and share them with you.... After quickly adding dates to the Moroccan lamb casserole in the slow cooker (3 nights freezer meals made, tick), making a coffee and spending ten minutes trying to figure out my daughters iPad!

The thoughts going through my head were/are: How did I get poo in Sams ear?, 'why am I so impatient with my girls and have all the time in the hew overlord for Sam?, How do I turn this stupid predictive typing off?, 'why am I so impatient with my girls and have all the time in the world for Sam?, How cute does he look with that plaster on his head?  Now I shall unpack all those comments for you in no particular order.

Yesterday we were having our usual Sunday pancake brunch before we head off to church at 10.30, except this week it was special as we had our fabulous nurse/friend join us.  Sam had sat through about 15 mins of the meal playing with a pancake and jam then got down. We were finishing up when we heard a bang then silence. Jasmine announces Sam had fallen over, so we call out, 'good boy get up, you will be ok' to jolly him along. Jasmine then shouts out, 'no it's bad, there is blood everywhere'. Jasmine is prone to the dramatic so we don't think much of it but take a look.... And she was not overstating it. Poor wee guy had whacked his head on the door and split his forehead.  So our lovely nurse was back on duty, I hugged a screaming fighting boy as she cleaned and bandaged his head up - he looked like a junior All Black prop, but was in no humour to appreciate his good looks. So Francis and Sam had a 5 hour boys bonding session, with the help of Toy Story 2 at Starship yesterday as they glued him together - no stitches, just glue.

The prelude to this incident is that Sam has started 'going to the toilet' and I don't mean just filling his nappy. He sees us interrupting a board game or announcing 'am just going to the toilet', so he too has decided to get in on the  act.  He will be happily playing and then leap up announcing 'I just have to go to the toilet' and will disappear for two minutes.  I have followed him and peaked in to see him just standing in the toilet looking at the walls with a satisfied look on his face - after a couple of minutes he announces he is done and reappears, pleased that he is now like everyone else.  I then announce he needs to wash his hands and we go through that very normal activity, except he does it with such a look of satisfaction and joy on his face.  He just wants to be grown up like all of us!

At these times I stop and marvel at all he takes in and then applies to to his life.  It is amazing he absorbs these basic human activities and assimilates them into his life.  That reality is also terrifying as I wonder what else he is assimilating from watching my life - the times I am impatient or talk rudely to the girls or Francis - is he going to copy these too? It has wakened me up to the responsibility I have and how so often my kids bad traits are because they have learnt them from me...and maybe my impatience with them is really rooted in my disappointment and impatience with myself.  I say sorry to my girls more and more these days... I want them to know I want to be different and better and that I am a work in progress too.

Faecal recycling has gone really well, um... except for last Thursday.  I was pushing the last 30 mls of his liquid poop into the catheter just at that awful pre school chaos time.  'Miss 10' wanted me to put up her hair and 'Miss 12' was asking about sandwich fillings, both at once, and I was finishing off Sams poop.... Not paying full attention to any of the 3 activities I gave the poop a quick push and thought, 'wow that went in easy'.  I turned to see Sam lying like a statue with poop all over His face, his torso, the bed, his beloved bee etc...  Of course the girls were in fits of laughter.  I wanted to be but was actually really stressed as it was all over his precious central line..... So about 40 mins later Sam was sorted, a load of bedding and bee was on a boil wash, Candace had skipped off to school with bad hair and Jasmine had an unexciting honey sandwich!

Each day since then Sam asks me the sweetest questions as I embark on the poop recycling, eg 'are you going to spill it all over me today? Or 'I don't want poo in my ear'..... All said with a voice of apprehension and slight terror on his face!  I say, 'yeah, it's ok, I don't want poo in my ear either.....'

Sam forces us to slow down on so many levels.... He is nearly 5 (grinning again!), yet the activity of mimicking wanting to go to the toilet fills us with delight.  Each time he fills a nappy we stop and applaud and make a big deal - the girls are losing enthusiasm for this however 'Yay' now said with sarcasm and a flat tone!  As I lay here this morning I thought back to Australia when it seemed each time we went to go in the car one of the girls would disappear to the toilet..... My response was less than gracious and was definitely never applauded - instead  it would be a lecture about, 'you have been sitting here for an hour playing and we told you we were leaving promptly and NOW you decide to go...rant rant, blah blah'.  The same activity, yet with one child I am happy to stop and take time out of my day for and the other I am not.... So yesterday I started hamming it up with the girls and telling them how proud I was of them each time they went to the toilet, hi fiving them, applauding and whistling at them over silly things - it was silly, but it made us laugh, and it has reminded me that I need to take time to enjoy their achievements, be more encouraging as they help out, complement them as they persevere with piano practice and love them as they slip and fall on the proverbial toilet door as they dare to try to copy us and grow up.

I haven't found that answer, so am taking back the 'dinosaur' lanyard and hanging it back around my neck, which was removed for a short while after enduring the terrifying Superman Ride at Movie World.... hey ho... when 'Miss 10' wakes up shortly she can show me!

May your week ahead be good... may you not put poo in your ear, may you stop and smell the roses of loved ones and celebrate their successes and not linger on their failings..... aahh, that is my challenge this week.

Much love


Unknown said...

Shirley, you have made me laugh! I love your updates on Sam and our thoughts and prayers are with you all as you face this monumental week. Lots of love and blessings, Juliette

Anonymous said...

What a brilliant post on what must be a stressful time for you all. Love reading the updates and we hope all goes well this week.........we are sure it will and we will say a prayer for you all. Love Paul, Gemma, Abbie, Lewis and Jacob x x

The Dockers said...

Shirl, you are too cool for school. Love you to the moon and back. Hearing you on the patience front, ah, cut from the same cloth. Give a big hug to the 'misses' and the big fellas. Twins are teenagers as of today, eek, the fun begins. They are two cool kids and I'm glad I'm their Mum. You rock. xxxx