'No it's 5am, Go BACK to SLEEP!'. This has been how my day has started every morning this week. After a 2 week break Sam is so excited to be back at school. He wakes around 5 calling for me to get him up so he can get ready, I shout back at him from my bed to go back to sleep because it's still night time and dark.....'hmphf' he groans and silence for about another 10 minutes and the conversation is repeated, several times until I give in around 6:30 when I need to get up anyway. I am so delighted he loves school so much. I don't think it's the academics or stimulating mind discoveries, but it's being Mr Social and running with his mates at morning tea and lunch time.
Last weekend I took him to a friends 5th birthday party. It was a big, delightful and well organised party, but I struggled as I watched him amongst his peers and his differences seemed so very huge. He wasn't able to keep up with them running around and playing tag and he got quite scared/anxious with nearly tumbling over, so he stepped away. Many of the games were around food but he did take part a little bit. He loved balancing 'coal' on a shovel and moving it from 'train to train' - yes it was a Thomas the Tank Engine party. I don't think Sam was upset about any of it, but I found it really hard watching him struggling. I admire him so much for all he is, but my heart hurt for him as the things he can't do seemed to be amplified amongst his peers. I'm not wallowing in pity, but am conscious that he may become aware of differences soon.... or maybe he wont.... maybe these concerns are mine to carry as a mother and Sam will just carry on being a part of his friends lives not bothered by differences, but joined by their friendship. At school and with family everyone is aware and looks out for him but this setting was full of unaware strangers which added another dynamic of vulnerability .. and frankly I don't like that emotion very much!. There is something much more lovely about familiar.... but I know Sam needs to be vulnerable to grow and adapt and enjoy life and I will just have to pull up my big girl pants and get on with it.
Yesterday Sam had an outing to Middlemore Hospital for an ultrasound. He has varicose veins appearing in his legs and they want to rule out DVTs and just to check circulation and cause. That was an hour of jelly pushing on his legs/groin and he coped so well with it. We will await a full report from sonographers to Sams Dr so not much to report, although they commented that some veins were small.
Quotes from Sam to make you smile:
1. I was telling the kids that Francis had to spend another night in LA as the plane broke down. Sam pipes up, 'Did Dad call the AA to get the plane fixed?'
2. Francis is in Switzerland for work. At 4 am this morning, 'Mum Mum come quick.... I miss Dad, I need to you to comfort me!'. It must be said I didn't comfort him, but gave him a quick cuddle, assured him he would survive and begged him to please go back to sleep!
I leave you with a cute photo of Sam on the phone to his Dad... he loves telling him all about his day - today they did the letter O, had school assembly 'which was boring!' but he got to run on the deck with his friends.